Liminal States: The In-Between Space of Becoming

Liminal states are the “in-between” spaces we pass through during times of change—when we’re no longer who we were, but not yet who we’re becoming. Rooted in the Latin word limen, meaning threshold, liminality describes the raw, uncertain terrain between endings and new beginnings.

These states often show up during major life transitions: trauma recovery, grief, adolescence, identity shifts, or the unraveling of long-held beliefs. You may feel lost or untethered—but this isn’t a sign of failure. It’s a sign that you’re in a process.

Much like a cocoon—where the caterpillar dissolves before becoming a butterfly—liminal states can feel disorienting, even painful. But they are also potent spaces of growth, healing, and transformation. In therapy, understanding this stage can help us approach it with compassion, steadiness, and curiosity.

Why Liminal States Matter

Liminal states are not detours—they are the process. In many cultures, rites of passage intentionally create liminal space to support personal transformation. The discomfort of being “in between” invites reflection, re-evaluation, and reinvention.

In therapy, we often meet clients in liminal states—when the old coping strategies no longer work, but the new ones aren’t fully formed yet. Recognising this phase as meaningful helps reframe the discomfort: you're not failing, you’re becoming.

How to Work With a Liminal State Instead of Resisting It

While liminal spaces can feel disorienting, they’re also incredibly rich with potential. Here are some practical ways to support yourself (or your child) during these tender transitions:

1. Name the In-Between

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is acknowledge that you're in a liminal space. You don’t need to have answers—just recognising “this is a transition” can help soften self-judgment.

✧ Try saying: “I’m not supposed to have it all figured out right now. I’m in a process.”

2. Prioritise Nervous System Regulation

Transitions often bring up nervous system dysregulation—feelings of anxiety, numbness, shutdown or agitation. Gentle grounding practices can help create a sense of stability while everything else feels uncertain.

✧ Try: paced breathing, walking in nature, holding a warm cup, or repeating a simple mantra like “I am here.”

3. Stay Connected

Liminal states can feel isolating, but connection is essential. You don’t need advice—just presence. Let someone witness your process without trying to fix it.

✧ Therapy, peer support, or simply sharing with someone who “gets it” can reduce shame and increase clarity.

4. Focus on Values, Not Outcomes

When your identity is shifting or the future feels unclear, anchoring into your values can give direction without pressure. You don’t need to know the end result—just your next step toward what matters.

✧ Ask: “What kind of person do I want to be in this moment?” rather than “How do I fix this?”

5. Make Meaning Through Ritual or Creativity

Liminal states benefit from ritual and symbolic action. Create something that marks the transition—a letter, a playlist, an artwork, or even a symbolic goodbye to the past version of you.

✧ You might write: “Thank you for getting me this far. I’m learning how to take it from here.”

6. Be Gentle With the Need for Control

In times of uncertainty, it’s natural to grasp for control. But growth often means learning to tolerate not knowing. This doesn’t mean giving up—it means softening into the process with self-compassion.

✧ Replace “What’s wrong with me?” with “This is hard—and I’m doing the best I can.”

Final Thoughts: Becoming Through the In-Between

Liminal states ask us to slow down and listen—to the body, to intuition, and to what’s emerging. They can feel like falling apart, but they are often a sacred pause before realignment. In trauma recovery, identity development, or big life transitions, recognising the power of these in-between spaces is the first step toward reclaiming agency and wholeness.

You're not broken. You're becoming.